explanation

I don’t always talk like the way I write, but I’m practicing my writing as well (one of the reasons I’m keeping a blog) I hope it doesn’t come off to weird. I try to be conversational, but keep it within grammatical correctness too. I hope I don’t sound stuck-up. I want to be able to relate to my audience. Right now, I’m just trying to find my audience.

Certain pieces I’ve written are highly personal and very in-the-moment,-just-thought-of-it,-how-I’m- feeling-right-now,-I-need-to-get-it-out thoughts. It’s very spontaneous, and I think you can tell which ones they are. The very personal one…not when I’m talking about TV or dolls or games or articles, but purely about me or what I’m thinking. I think it’s very revealing and I’m usually very guarded. It’s a new step in trying to break out of that shell. I don’t think I could reveal anymore than that. That’s me at my purest and most vulnerable. I try to be general or generalized and be vague—relate it to everyone in order to defect attention away from me. I don’t think my thoughts are original. I don’t think I’ve told anyone else about them…not my parents or my friends. I live a lonely existence. This is the first time that I’m letting someone (read, if they want too, what I’ve kept secret. I mean, it’s not incredibly dramatic as I’m writing (the secrets, I mean), because I talk a lot about useless crap like liking Barbie and Lego, but I try to balance that with heavy thoughts. I get moments of pure inspiration and I’m trying hard to keep up with my thoughts.

Writing, especially writing on line allows me to be anonymous, and I think I alluded to that a few post ago. I can be whomever I chose to project, and I hope I’m projecting the real or the full version of me.

(written around March 29)