Nah. I decided that the reading list for English lit classes are going to kill me or at the very least wear me down so much so that I’ll hate everything in my life.
There goes my English dream. It’s way too hard, and it takes a lot of work. Too many essays for me to write.
So I guess I’m back at history. I want an easy major, but I guess there are no easy majors.
So history it is at the moment. Sucks that not only is choosing a major wearing me out, but this college thing is also dragging me down.
Tomorrow, I need to voice my concerns about this to them. I need to find a time.
I wish I would make up my mind already. It’s either going now, or take a semester off from school.
How hard can that be? For me? It’s 2 + years of wondering and figuring it out.
So, I know what I’m going to do. I need to tell them that I want to take a semester off of school instead.
This is about finding the easy road out. This will allow me to do that.
Funny how when I have a chance to tell them, I chicken out. I remember back to the car, that brief moment when I thought about saying something.
Wow. The anxiety is clearing away. I looked over at some syllabuses for English lit classes and I’m blown away at the enormity of it. Wow. Talk about a lot of readings.
I need to take a semester off. I think I need it to clear my head.
Maybe then my gut will tell me something. Nothing’s set in stone, but I hate to tell them about this. What to do? Hmm.
If I do take the semester off, I’ll have to do something constructive. But can I face my fears?
How bad can it be if I decide to go to somewhere else? If I do go there, then I want to study lit also, I think. At least that will be my main decision.
Ok. Here’s what I’m going to do. Tomorrow, I’ll most definitely tell them something. Anything about what I’m feeling. Anything.
5/23
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